Some say, "Pop, Coke, or Soda.. Mouse?...WTF?"

So last night my wife and I are sitting in our room doing our normal thing.  I was on my laptop and she was on her puter.  Now my spouse has to take some meds a few hours before bed and they have a tendency of making her brain scrambled, loopy,  wompy-jawed so about an hour after taking her meds last night she jumps out of her chair and says "there is something crawling around over here!"  Let me also tell you my readers that earlier in the evening our child had already ran into our room saying she saw a mouse in the kitchen, so paranoia was already settled into my wife's mind.  So being the husband/man-of-the-house/the apparent rodent destroyer I trudged my way off of my laptop to investigate the situation.  So I am pulling everything out from underneath the table and moving the baskets that are on the floor when little Miss Dopey leans back over and says hold on a sec....and grabs her 20 ounce mountain dew bottle off of the table and says oh..I didn't get the cap screwed on all the way so it was making hissing noises...To say the least we have had a pretty good laugh over it.  I am waiting for her to take a nose dive to the floor and start screaming "in-coming". 
  In all seriousness I truly love and value my wife.  She is a great person, a loving wife, and a dedicated mother.  I am very blessed to have her in my life. 

Frustrating Day

So today I get a call from a car dealership saying my car payment is over a month late.  Well the car is in control of my ex and she is responsible for the payment even though the car and loan is still in my name.  So to say the least I was not a happy camper when I got the call.  So I had to call the ex so she could deal with it and of course now I am stuck doing all the paperwork to get it taken care of since the loan is in my name...What the fuck is the point of a POA?  I gave her the POA for the car so she can deal with everything having to do with the car.  I don't even recall ever even driving the car....as a matter of fact when i was talking with the dealer i had to verify the make and model of the car and it took me a few minutes to recall it.  Of course the dealer was like i need a copy of your monthly income statement...uh...i am unemployed i have been looking for months for work to no avail apparently according to the latest statistic here in VA vets are currently up to a 30% unemployment rate here...i.e why I am packing up all my shit and moving to where I can afford to live.  Not because I want to but because I am doing the responsible thing.

There will be no blogging for awhile due to my move..

If I had Shoe Laces

So today I spent the day watching my friends kids so that she and my wife could go on a picture hunting trip.  OMG her kids drove me crazy...The youngest sounded like a heard of elephants running through my house.  The boy was pretty good just hanging out playing Plants vs Zombies well until he discovered the wagon in my back yard and oh...there is a cemented ramp at the front of my house.  So of course I look out my front window and see him go flying across the street in the little old red wagon...Good thing he didn't discover the gallon of gasoline in my storage shed, or it would have looked like the Great Fire of Chicago in Norfolk today.  At one point I heard a OH MY FUCKING GOD come out of the 6 year old's mouth wtf if my child said that I would beat her ass and shove a smelly sock in her mouth.  The eldest child kept asking if she could braid my hair...hell fuck no!!! Oh and she asked if my child had a pencil skirt and of course i was like What the Hell is that?  She pulled out this little mini skirt and my daughter and I looked at it and said hell no, nope, never going to wear one of those.  Why a 13 year thinks its cool to dress like a hootch is beyond me.  Not sure who to slap..the 13 year old or her momma...And to make things worse...for those of you who don't know I don't have a bedroom door and there isn't one on my bathroom either...So as I am trying to play king the damn kids are running up and down the stairs next to my bathroom....plus yelling for me to come down stairs...I finally blew up at the boy and was like "dude I am trying to drop a few turds off can you leave me alone a few minutes."  So by around diner time i was ready to hang myself with my own shoe laces...good thing i am wearing my crocs....  So throughout the day i have been cursing my wife wishing they all get sun burnt and lo and behold they came home all red...unfortunately this will delay any physical activity for the next few days... As they say be careful what you wish for.

Rain Day Blue Balls

So today is the 3rd Wednesday in a row that it has continously rained, premarriage I would never have complained about the rain.  During the premarriage phase of a relationship rain is awesome you spend your day naked, I would say in bed but not necessarily in bed, having great sexual experimention with your sexy fiancee.  But now 6 months after being married it has changed.  Rainy days are spent across the room from one another fully dressed and doing our own thing.  Is this because the sex is getting old, or is it because we are getting old?  Well lets face facts people:  Sex never gets old,  Hell yes we are getting old but we are getting old together which is why we got married in the first place because we love each other deeply and wanted to grow old together just wasn't expecting to grow old this quick.  Yes marriage isn't about sex it is about being soulmates, and best friends, sex is just a perk.

Let Me Introduce You to My BoomStick

Today's discussion is the top 5 places to "go postal"

1. Walmart-Seriously have you seen the way people dress going there and how rude they are.
2. Traffic Jams-Drivers are terrible around here.  Just remember when you start shooting there is no place for them to run but this also applies to your get away.
3. DMV- They licenses the above people so they just deserve it.
4.Courthouse- Most people there are criminals or lawyers so who would really care.
5.Movie Theater-Go ahead forget to silence your cell phone...my ringtone is louder than yours motherfucker......

Hell...Yes I said "Hell"

Ok so like 3 weeks ago I told my landlord that my AC unit is icing over when it runs for a significant length of time.  Now this isn't anything unusual at my house.  Usually at the begining of summer he has to come over and recharge the AC unit.  Well he hasn't done it yet and of course it is hotter than hell/fuck outside today.  So to say the least my balls are good and sweaty and I can't get cooled off. Of course this is the same landlord who has told me for a year that he was going to fix the back deck.  Of course I am moving out in the next few weeks so do you think they give a shit if my AC is working "HELL NO!"  I bet he fixes it for the new tenant though ( of course she has breasts instead of balls).  Mean time I will hang out with my beautiful wife with my sweaty stinky ball sack, you know that wont make her happy.  And if the wife isn't happy that means I am cut off, so not only is my balls not happy my penis isn't happy as well.  Do you think if I mention that to my landlord he would fix my fucking AC?  Doubt!  So I hope the rest of the world is enjoying a sweaty ball free day.

Just getting started

Well I thought I would give blogging a try.  Just be aware I am not an English major, writer, or in the least bit creative.  So this will be just like the title says 'ramblings".  I will discuss my day to day thoughts, some will piss you off, some you will think is funny and others will just make you think I am completely crazy. Mostly I am going to discuss human nature and the fact that I just hate people in general.  Life sucks we all know it but why do we as human beings have to make life more difficult than it already is.